On the lighter side

(Time to read this article: 1 min)

In 1998 a business magazine ran a contest asking for Dilbert-like quotes from people who had real-life Dilbert-like managers. Here are some of the winners.

• As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.
  (Microsoft Corporation - this one took first place)

• What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter.
  (Lykes Lines Shipping)

• E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.
  (Accounting Mgr., Electric Boat Company)

• This project is so important that we can't let things that are more important interfere with it.
  (Advertising /Mktg. Mgr., UPS)

• Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks, and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them.
  (R&D Supervisor, Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

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